5.6 -- Revising a Draft

Primary reference: [Higham, Ch. 7]

Contents

1. Examples of Revising

2. Quotations on Revising

3. Stategies for Successive Drafts -- Anne Eisenberg's view
   • Distinguish between Revising, Editing, and Proofreading

4. Strategies for Successive Drafts -- Higham's view
   • Highham's Checklist

5. Strategies for Successive Drafts -- Knuth's view

From [H, 7.2]

What is wrong with the following examples?

1. GraphX -- An experimental graphics development environment research project (a paper title)

   Click here for answer.

2. Thus there arises the question of whether a central database can be created in a manner which is consistent with the need for efficiency and breadth of scope.

   Click here for answer.

3. The Basic Linear Algebra Subprograms (BLAS) have several advantages. They
   • Lead to shorter and clear codes;
   • Improve modularity.
   • Machine dependent optimizations can be confined to the BLAS, aiding portability, and
   • Tuned BLAS have been provided by several manufacturers.

   Click here for answer.

4. In order to pinpoint the requirements for an effective microchip development environment sufficiently to definitively obtain answers to the above questions, it is essential to be able to interview a wide variety of microchip developers who are knowledgeable and experienced in such matters.

   Click here for answer.

• "Excellence is the result of extensive revision."

  -- source forgotten

• "Every single word that I publish I write at least six times."

  -- Paul R. Halmos, interview in Paul Halmos: Celebrating 50 years of Mathematics (1991)

• "Two pages of the final manuscript ... Although they look like a first draft, they had already been rewritten and retyped -- like almost every other page -- four or five times. With each rewrite I try to make what I have written stronger and more precise, eliminating every element that is not doing useful work. Then I go over it once more, reading it aloud, and am always amazed at how much clutter can still be cut."

  -- William Zinsser, On Writing Well (1990)

• "Writing is not a tidy, straightforward act. It would be a simple matter if there were a one-for-one correspondence between what one thinks and what one puts down on paper. That's not so, though. Our ideas change as we write.... By page 4 we have an idea we didn't have on page 1."

  -- Anne Eisenberg, Effective Technical Writing (1992)

Note: Don't the quotes above with the fewest words have the most impact? Therefore, omit needless words!

Stategies for Successive Drafts -- Anne Eisenberg's view

From [Eisenberg, p. 28]

1. Try for content and organization in initial drafts.

   • Just get all of your thoughts and materials down in your first draft. Postpone editing and revising for later.

   • Don't use your time and energy on careful editing for spelling, grammar, and choice of the right words.

   • Try to write the entire first draft in one day. You can do this if you start with a detailed outline.

   • When you think you have finished the first draft, ask yourself:

     1. Have I covered my major points?

        (Return to your outline and make sure you have actually developed all your major arguments.)

     2. Have you included the necesary figures and tables?

     3. Do you have a conclusion, or did you leave it to your reader to infer the conclusions from the data or mathematics?

2. Let the document rest for a few hours or days before you revise for organization.

3. Work a section at a time in the first drafts.

   • This will help you focus on one or two ideas at a time.

   • It avoids your getting bogged down by trying to think about too much at once.

   • Try to work on one section at one sitting. If you read through the section, and stop to spend 30 minutes finding the right words for a sentence, then you'll have to finish the next day, which interrupts your train of thought.

   Distinguish between Revising, Editing, and Proofreading

   • Revise before editing.

     Many writers work out their ideas on paper -- they discover what they are going to say during the actual process of composition.

     This method of writing -- exploratory writing -- is perfectly valid to use. However, in the first draft you may

     • omit the main point of a passage, perhaps because you don't know what it is until you finish composing the passage

     • omit transitions or bridges from one section to the next, in part because you don't know what direction the next argument should take

     • omit essential information, or give too much detail

     • omit context or background information that is essential to a reader's understanding of your work

     • repeat information, particularly if you are interrupted when you write, or if you explain the same idea from different angles at different points in the manuscript

     To revise is to

     • move the text around so that the order is logical

     • delete unnecessary information

     • add essential information

     As you revise, ask yourself:

     1. Have I introduced main points before detail?

     2. Are the details complete and correct?

     3. Do I need to write informative headings and subheadings that guide the reader?

     4. Is the information in the headings and subheadings consistent with the information below them? Or do I have "fruit salad" -- information mixed into one section that properly belongs in another?

     5. Did I add transitions between arguments, between paragraphs, and between sections?

     6. Did I add topic sentences, the opening sentences of paragraphs or sections that state the points I then develop?

   • Edit before proofreading.

     At this point (after revision), all important ideas should be in your paper and in the correct order.

     1. Run the spell checker.

     2. Manually search for spelling errors that the spell checker does not catch.

     3. See if you can shorten sentences: avoid needless words.

     4. Verify that you have defined all terms, notation, mnemonics, and abbreviations before use.

     5. Check for paragraph length and unity. Do you have one idea to a paragraph?

     6. Check for opportunities to use displayed lists and indentations that emphasize key points.

     7. Check for grammatical lapses such as subject-verb agreement, misplaced modifiers, pronoun-antecedent agreement, parallel elements, and tense switch.

     8. Check for stylistic touches: remove redundant expressions, vary overused words, strengthen verbs.

     9. Check for word choice.

     10. Check for special problems. For example, if your first language has different rules for definite and indefinite articles, check each sentence for proper use of definite and indefinite articles.

   • Proofread last.

     Print an unmarked copy of the manuscript on your desk at home.

     At the time in the day when you reach your intellectual peak (e.g., mornings for me), reserve a block of several hours, and sit down and carefully read without interruption.

     Ask a friend to proofread your manuscript.

     Run the spell checker again.

Higham's Checklist

See page 95 in Higham for a checklist. Many items repeat Eisenberg's list, but here's a few new ideas:

• Have quotations, references, and numerical results been copied into the paper correctly?

• Is due reference made to the work of other authors (beware of "citation amnesia").

• Are equations, tables, figures, sections, subsections, results, and the reference list properly numbered? Are all the cross references and bibliographic citations correct?

"Many readers will skip over formulas on their first reading of your exposition. Therefore, your sentences should flow smoothly when all but the simplest formulas are replaced by 'blah' or some other grunting noise." - Donald Knuth